The kids went back to school again a few weeks ago. It is a monumental year for us. Cameron started Jr. High, Lucy is in the third grade, and Quentin started kindergarten.
This is the first time that all my kids are in school all day. Quentin is in a 3/4 day Chinese Immersion program, so he leaves at 10:30, and gets back with the bigger kids at 3:30. I love the few extra hours I get to spend with him in the morning. We get to take our time eating breakfast and getting ready. But.......when he leaves, I am all alone.
I find myself in this strange state of mind, where I feel on the verge of sobbing, and laughing hysterically at the same time. Extreme bittersweet, might be another way of describing it. The house is terribly quiet, and lonely, yet I am thrilled to be able to get the house completely clean, the laundry folded, dinners planned. And I have not even tapped into all the possibilities yet. I looked online today at some fall decorating ideas, and the thoughts of having several hours each day to myself to craft or decorate, or work on my favorite projects is a luxury I have not known for many, many years.
So although I feel overwhelming sadness at the summer ending, and my children being away all day, maybe I can also discover a side to life I didn't know existed. Maybe I'll just have really nicely folded laundry. We'll just have to wait and see.
